“You can’t ask people questions like that.”

“You can’t ask people questions like that.” 

At first I was embarrassed. We had dated for only a few months when I invited him to a party at the office where I worked as a realtor. I knew that he would be right at home and enjoy it because he was such a people person. I loved that after I introduced him around, he didn’t cling to me but showed a genuine interest in others on his own. As I returned after getting coffee for us, he was deep in conversation with one of our top producers who was sharing with him exactly what he earned and even the most intimate details of his life including the whole story of his recent divorce. I was horrified. Even those of us who had known that agent for years didn’t know that much about him.  

Driving home, I said, “Wally, you can’t ask people such personal questions like that especially with someone you don’t even know well! That’s rude!”

Looking at me a little hurt he said, “I didn’t! He brought it up.” I wasn‘t sure if I believed him. Had I made a mistake in turning him loose with my friends? I dreaded going back to the office Monday morning. After all, I had to work with these people. Would Wally damage my reputation with them?

“Who is this guy?” the top producer asked me. I cringed.

“Why do you ask?”

“Well, I tell you, he’s a real winner! You’d better hang on to him! In one short conversation I dumped on him stuff I haven’t told anyone in years! He was a great listener. Bring him by anytime.”

Others came up to ask me. “Who is this guy? He’s a keeper! I told him the names of all my kids and even some of their problems. I haven’t had anyone listen to me like he did in years.”

Of course, we continued dating. It didn’t hurt that he was very handsome and people were drawn to him with that fabulous smile. But, I figured he can’t be real. I will guard my heart and not fall for him.

I had met him at a dance sponsored by an Orange County Christian organization.  A girlfriend had talked me into going. “Thanks anyway, but I’m too tired tonight after showing houses all day to perspective clients.”

“I understand,” she said. But I won’t go alone but it’s okay.”

“All right, I’ll go.” We got halfway there, and I thought. What have I done? I don’t have my own car and can’t leave when I want to. Worst of all, I probably won’t know anyone and everyone will be younger, anyway.

To my great relief, I recognized many of my old buddies from St. Andrews and  Mariner’s Churches. I didn’t have any romantic interest in any of them, though. Some were unattractive, overweight, some had bad breath and some were bitter men who wanted to talk about their awful ex-wives and horrible kids who didn‘t deserve child support. Spoiled rotten kids, some of them said. I said nothing because, of course, I felt sorry for their exs.  But they were someone to dance with. And dance we did.

Besides, I knew that my first priority had to be my busy real estate career and saving money for later years. If I spent time with anyone, it would be with my own grown daughters.

Then across the crowded room, I saw him with a circle of women huddled around an attractive, physically fit, smiling guy. They were giggling and hanging on to his every word. I knew a lot of them and recognized that they were very well dressed in expensive St. John’s $800 knit dresses, complete with perfect acrylic nails and beautiful professional hair dos. I had on my $30 simple dress that I bought from a Chadwicks’ catalog because I had no time or money to shop otherwise.

Later, some of the women that I knew from church whispered to me, “He is considered a “major catch” The ladies are all after him, a widower for years who lives in Pales Verdes. He’s a wonderful guy. But he’s been a widower for so long that he may not be marriage material.”  Well, I wasn’t interest in marriage anyway. I just wanted to dance.

Isn’t that just the way, I thought. He won’t notice me. Why should he? He has all these rich ladies to choose from. Besides, I firmly believed that you should never  chase after any man because if you catch him, you will never know if he was really interested. Forget him. Dance, go home and get back to work. The only dating I will ever be interested in is going somewhere nice to glide around the floor with. So, I was surprised when he finally found his way through the crowd of over 200 people and asked me to cha-cha with him. Light on his feet, we tripped the light fantastic.